Saturday, November 10, 2007

day three...

today was Spokane, WA. The venue was called 'The Service Station'--a coffee house & concert venue all wrapped up in one... the room was great, the people were great, and the worship was great. I pray that God was pleased with what happened in Spokane tonight.

You know, it's funny... the first few days of this tour have been tough for me in some ways. I stand up there in front of hundreds every night singing about Psalm 23 and at times I have to look in the mirror and ask myself if I really trust God the way I want to believe I trust God. We all fight this, don't we? Over and over we find ourselves caught in cyclical patterns of doubt, pride, sometimes just spiritual apathy... and even when we begin trying to pray our way out of it, we realize that we're not trusting fully--fully--the kind of trust God deserves (and then some.)

It's not that we don't believe what we're saying when we sing worship songs or pray, it's just that there's more to it than that... belief doesn't require sacrifice, humility, surrender of control--but trust does. It's opens us up as vulnerable beings and is inherently risky. I don't know about you, but I need to learn to worship more sacrificially, putting actions with my words instead of thoughts alone. Can we really act like worship is all about God and not make a concerted effort to parallel that with our lives being all about God? Our decisions? Our very livelihood?

Yeah, I'm working on it... I may never get all the way there, but I hope I'll never stop trying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

From the Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt Redman

Before the Throne of God, the Prohphet Isaiah becomes an undone worshipper. Often when we meet with God, we experience his gentleness and comfort. But this was an altogether different kind of meeting, a Holy moment marked by discomfort and soul-searching. The prophet encounters the Lord almighty and is never the same again. He realizes God's Greatness and in the light of that, his own weakness: Woe is me,for I am Undone!"
Why on earth am I here as a worship leader? I wondered. I need to be here just to get right with God in the congregation, off the stage. I was an undone worshipper. That's exactly how God wanted it. When I got up to lead the next session, He didn't want me thinking I could achieve something or that I had something special to give.

He desired a broken and dependent heart. As king David, Israel's singer of songs discovered: "The sacrifies of God are a broken spirit; a broken heart and a contrite heart, O God, you will not depise" Pslam 51:17

This life is not just a dress rehearsal or a waste of time. We can live with Jesus and for Jesus,ushering in His Kingdom right here right now.